Saturday, November 24, 2007

How the Australians may be coping with election night!

As in most elections in most countries, there will no doubt be wall-to-wall coverage on all the Australian TV networks. So for Australians it is time to choose your station, invite mates over, and once you're settled in for the evening's entertainment you can start the game of Australia Drink-Decides 2007!
The rules are simpler than a Senate voting ticket. Here they are:
  1. Any time your own electorate is mentioned, you must drink.
  2. Any time a number of one billion or more is mentioned, you must drink.
  3. Any time Pauline Hanson's name is mentioned, or a reference to One Nation is made, you must drink.
  4. If Pauline Hanson actually appears on TV, you must completely finish the drink you are holding. If you are not holding a drink, you must immediately fetch your next drink and consume it in its entirety.
  5. Any time a supporter wearing a "Kevin07" T-shirt is shown on TV, you must drink.
  6. Any time a cute/attractive politician appears on TV, you must drink. (Note: this rule is not expected to come into play, with the possible exception of the Greens' Larissa Waters.)
  7. Any time the phrase "working families" is uttered, by politician or TV commentator, you must drink: once for yourself, and once for each of your children.
  8. Any time the phrase "balance of power" is uttered, you must drink AND eat.
  9. Any time a politician claims victory on TV, you must drink.
  10. Any time a politician concedes defeat, you must drink twice. (Once for their sorrow, once for our joy)
  11. If in doubt as to the meaning or application of any of the above rules, or any time you are thirsty, just have a bloody drink.
  12. If John Howard wins, you must drink until your feeling of disappointment goes away.
Who says politics is boring!!!! Kevin Rudd is the favourite, by the way, he is tipped to be on his way to a historic landslide bring Labour back to power for the first time in twelve years and be the first new prime minister in the same period; but that is not what the game is about!
Thanks to Prof. Phil Harris for sharing this: if there is an election next year I expect Britons to do their duty and... make up their own version!

2 comments:

Mike Jarvis, Stowe-on-the-Wolds said...

A novel alternative to being 'Up for Portillo' I had a drink when he went down; metaphorically going down obviously. Is John Howard as crap as the media says or is he just their Blair and been around too long?

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